A Rambling Update

I have a tendency to set nearly unattainable goals, often with ridiculous timelines, planning every detail and every backup plan. Despite that, the pressure has always given me something to constantly work towards. A respite of sorts from the personal woes that at times taint my focus. However, now, for the first time in years, I'm without a plan.

Immigrating to a(nother) new country, with no family or friends was one of the hardest decisions I've made, but also one of the easiest in some ways. It was a choice between limiting my future and that of my descendants, versus having options...having a chance at something better.

I am constantly asked why I chose to leave the Bahamas. Why would you ever leave such a beautiful place? I left because I'm educated in and subsequently work in an industry that is of no interest to the country (paraphrasing a conversation with a Bahamian politician I'll never forget). I left because I needed to paid my worth. I left because I refused to not utilise my degrees. I left because I wanted to explore more in life. I left because my dreams exceeded the 21x7 miles I called home.

Although the love and support of family of friends was a constant blanket of reassurance, the hopelessness I felt in being there was an imprisoning shackle tethering me down despite their uplifting love. I know I made the right decision in moving, but I often wonder if I've made the right decisions along the way, forgetting to live in the moment.

Now that I've attained some permanent status, I'm left wondering what next. The unknown. No plans beyond the short term, and that no longer bothers me.

For once, I finally have a moment to breathe, and dwell in it.

-A.

Photo source: Tidal Basin, DC as shown on instagram.com/kinksofnature

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